The Poison Sun
Misunderstanding "Title: Let me know if you get offended." by Pom Pom Shin
Title: Let me know if you get offended.
If you need to refresh your memory, you can find this weeks poem in the hyperlink above. This is just my interpretation of a few lines.
The sudden reversal in the first two lines of Shin’s poem is so much more than a cheeky bait-and-switch.
As much as I might be tickled by a little mild sadism, I’m pretty sure the work takes place between two lovers… that is, it is intimate, personal, and not a swipe at the Culture War. The way I picture it, each of the first two sentences (like so many feelings one expresses in an argument) are hiding their own perfect opposites.
When I think about the title, I’m reminded of a line I heard recently HBO’s “The Landscapers:” the detective character says something like “when you call someone ‘fragile,’ what you’re really saying is ‘they’re in charge.’”
So when the poem opens with “let me know if you get offended,” what it means is: I don’t care if you get offended. I am already preemptively frustrated by you imposing your limits on my ability to communicate. I already know you are going to get offended and I don’t want to know!
She is trying to express herself to her partner, in a deep way. She is talking about her “needs as a woman in love.” There’s no time to be derailed, she has to get her thoughts straight.
So when she turns around and says “I don’t care if you are offended,” what she’s really saying is: I care too much, I don’t want to hurt you. I love you. But your intense reactivity to my communications are ultimately unproductive for us both. As long as your posture is “taking offense,” you will never understand me, and I will be absolutely poisoned by the understanding of you. It will control me, and I will disappear.
“Understanding” is like the sun. It brightens the world, enlivens life, and daily exposure will make one healthier. But be careful! Staring will blind you. The sun is the most violent thing in the galaxy. One day humans will capture the sun in a Dyson sphere.
In this poem, Shin sees through the games. She sees that her ability to care might be ruined by her caring, and that sometimes not-caring is the most caring thing one can do. She doesn’t care! She wants to be played like a fiddle.
Usually, when someone complains about “getting played,” what they are really saying is “I was played badly.” It’s one of those crazy glaring truths that what most people want is to be manipulated to great results. Tactics aren’t so scary if they make you feel: safe, free, understood… All people want, at the end of the day, is to be loved.
“Let me admire you again.”
This weeks poem was by Pom Pom Shin. You can find her on Instagram @shinwhay.
If you want to talk about the poem or any other lines that really struck you, please do comment.