"The Curse of Idiomatic Expression" AKA: The Demon of Suck My Balls

Edward Pankov

Ever since I was a child people were telling me to suck their balls

I remember the first time I heard such a proposal, it was in elementary school in a suburb of Chicago. My immmigrant self had not been well versed in the parlance of our times, apparently.

I asked my classmates during second grade lunch if I can have one of his mnm's and he said 

"Suck my balls"

I asked him why he would ever want me to do that for him

He said "what?"

And I repeated the question

He looked at me coldly, and walked away.

Years later, yet I still don't understand this idiom. And yes I do know it is a metaphor for many things (normally associated with the nature of masculine dominance, oftentimes in a situation of one dominating in a masculine behavior form over another one), so I have been trying to apply the phrase to as many possible contextually allowable situations as I can.

So that I can see the furthest extent of the semiotics of this particular turn of phrase, for example:

It has become a curse.

"Would you like a cup of tea, sir?"

"Suck my balls"

And if someone tells me to "suck their balls," I have found this response to be the most prudent,

 "Unfortunately, I must inform you that my mouth is reserved for cunnilingus, and the pursuit of cunnilingus craft alone, sir or madam…"

It came to me through further metanalysis, a sort of intuitive conclusion as it were, that
Ultimately the balls we are told to suck, is an invitation to defiance, a taunt as it were:

"I dare you to say yes to my rhetorical request (the one being of which I may or may not be asking you to commit a sexual act upon my body or perhaps I'm simply being sassy with you). As that would make me lose this proverbial game of chicken, dont you think?"

"QED, I daresay, therefore I must suck your balls at once! Present them to me Now!"

"...touche…"

"Walk away now in silence, and I may have mercy upon you"

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Edward Pankov is on Instagram @enterthexlad