Extra Cool Style
John Padula
Today is Stephen Miller’s first day at Cornfield High School, he’s so nervous! He didn’t have any friends at his old school, Fly-Over-State High, but it’s still tough starting over at zero.
His mom packed his lunch, he tears through it on the bus ride over. She left him a note:
“September 1st, 1998
Dear Stephen,
Sophomore year will be great! Don’t be afraid to be yourself!
Love you!
-Mom”
She dated it September 1st, 1998 as a subtle way of establishing the setting. She drew every letter like a heart and he couldn’t read a single word of it.
Stephen goes to his locker, grabs his class schedule, and shuts it. He turns around and is shoved up against the lockers. Oh no! A big senior is towering over him. Stephen is surrounded by a big group of big jocks.
“Hey nerd, you must be the new kid in town. I’m Paul Bradly, captain of football-team-six.” He offers his hand.
Stephen shakes it.
And Paul pulls him in and noogies him. Oh no! In a headlock, Stephen’s head is pointed right at her, “you see that hot piece-of-ass standing next to me? Yeah, that’s my girlfriend, Veronica Stacy Bell, she’s the hottest girl in school and the captain of the cheerleading hit-squad.”
Veronica waves at Stephen, seductively.
Paul picks Stephen up by the scruff, “you’re new here so I want to make something clear. I better, under no circumstances, catch you having sex with my girlfriend, got it?”
Gulp. Stephen nods.
“Good.” He drops him. “Now let's see your schedule,” he swipes it from Stephen’s hands. Yoink. “World History?” He looks back at his jock goons, scoffs, they echo, “pffff, that’s for babies!” And they all break out into hardy laughter. Hahaha. Paul crumples the schedule, “come on guys, let’s go play football,” and he throws the paper ball down the hallway, perfect spiral.
The goons run down the hall, laughing and high-fiving. Paul looks back, over the shoulder-pauldron of his varsity jacket, “you remember what I said, nerd, don’t let me catch you having sex with my girlfriend! Anyway, French you later, faggot!” The boys erupt into laughter that cuts out the moment they disappear around the corner.
Veronica lingers at the end of the hall for a moment, just long enough to wink, blow a kiss, and flash her entire pussy at Stephen.
Some kid puts Stephen’s crumpled schedule back in his hands, “hey, don’t let those guys give you trouble, they’re just big cool jocks… I’m Josh,” a warm breeze wafting down the hallway teases Josh’s slightly unkempt strawberry blond hair, playfully, like a benevolent owner tickling a puppy's balls. He laughs, playfully. Josh bites his lips like a puppy would if you were to tickle his balls, playfully, “It sounds like we have World History together.”
“Thanks.” Stephen’s cheeks glow red, he’s never met someone so playful before. “I’m Stephen.”
They embrace, bodies matching like puzzle pieces, and kiss passionately.
Josh rubs himself, “I know it must be hard moving to a new school and everything, but it’s not all bad. I’ll tell you what, after school let’s go to Big Burger, it’s kinda the local hang, and I’ll introduce you to the dudes.”
After school, Stephen and Josh head over to Big Burger. All of Josh’s friends are there, they slip into a booth and squeeze through introductions. Stephen’s feeling good, “yeah, you guys get it! I feel like I can be myself around you guys.” Then he sees Paul and Veronica walk in.
Stephen stares at Veronica, a shiver runs up and down his big penis.
“Hi,” she says, alluding to something or whatever, “could I get a big burger, extra cool style.”
Stephen’s in love.
“Let me get uh…” Paul starts, but something’s wrong. He looks down from the menu and over the padded straps of his varsity ballistic vest. Paul sees Stephen staring, marches over, flips the table and picks Stephen up by his head. “You again! Why I aughta! Don’t think I don’t see you eye fucking my hot babe girlfriend, dork!
“I said it once and I’ll say it again, don’t you ever, ever, let me catch you having sex with my girlfriend, ever! Because if I catch you having sex with my girlfriend, well, let’s just say I better not catch you having sex with my girlfriend, got it?
“And I especially better not catch you two having sex in my bedroom while I’m at football, got it, wimp!?”
Stephen nods, desperately.
“Good. Bet you couldn’t even get it up, loser,” and he jerks Stephen off a little. He turns to Veronica, “hey babe, I’m going to football service now. Love you, bye!” He gives her a peck on the cheek, runs out, hops into his cool new mustang convertible, and tears ass outta there.
Veronica walks up to Stephen with her big burger, extra cool style, in hand. She sits next to him, runs her hands through his hair, and pulls his face into the space between her widely gapped boobs.
She smells nice.
Between breasts, Stephen turns to his friends, “damnit, I am tired of being bullied by Paul! You know what? I think I know the perfect way to get back at him!” He turns his face back directly into Veronica’s boobs. “Veronica, what do you say, me and you have sex in Paul’s bedroom while he’s at high school football service?”
“Sounds good to me,” she whispers breathily, like a haunted ghost in a scary house.
Veronica knocks, Paul’s mom answers. “Oh, hello Veronica.”
“Hello Mrs. Bradly. This is my friend, Stephen. We have to study for a big project in my boyfriends- your son’s- bedroom. Together. Alone.”
“Okay sounds good sweetie, I’ll bake some cookies.”
They walk into Paul’s bedroom and start having beautiful sex.
Paul watches from the window, tears mixing in with the sweat of a hard day’s service. He falls to his knees, “I better not catch you having sex with my girlfriend… because it’ll break my heart.”
The rest of the football team was there, too. Jim, Paul’s best friend, puts a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, come on, that’s for babies,” he tenderly wipes the tears from Paul’s cheek, there’s a passion in the gesture that only a teammate can understand, “let’s go play football.”
Paul smiles through the tears, he wipes his nose on his varsity gauntlets.
Jim helps him up and they all play two-hand-touch on the front lawn. The blinds are still wide open and every now and then Paul looks over and sees them still going at it. At one point, his mother sets a plate of cookies next to them and the two begin to eat chocolate chip cookies off each other, sucking melted chocolate-chip off one another as they explore each other’s bodies, bites mixing with kisses, sometimes confusing tender flesh for a mouthful of warm cookie dough. It’s all skin, the cookies the bed sheets the space within each other’s arms… Sex is a form of consumption in and of itself…
And as Paul watches this, he mumbles to himself, “whatever, I don’t care…” and he turns his attention back to the game.
Paul would later die in Afghanistan.
You can find John Padula on Instagram @jpadula