Me and my friend Jack love chasing tail.
“what are you up to” is what I’ll text him, and most days
he’ll reply: “i’m chasing tail.
” If Jack wants to know where I’m at, he’ll text me: “wya”
I’ll usually reply: “out chasing tail”
Jack chases tail a lot and he tells me about all the tail he will chase. I don’t think he has a type,
but he will show me pictures of the tail. The tail is always pretty; he calls them hot. When I see tail, I say: she’s beautiful. I think that’s a more respectful way to address tail.
“She's really smart”
that’s what he says about tail. I think he likes to chase tail that’s smart. I think he likes to chase tail that reminds him of the tail back home in Wisconsin.
I don’t really know what tail I like to chase.
but I try to chase tail like Jack does. Most nights we will go on our separate quests, chasing our respective tail. The next day, we will ask: did you chase tail? If the answer is yes, then the next question is: did you get laid?
Jack will say yes, and I usually say yes, but that just means I got kissed. I like to make out with tail.
One time Jack cancels plans because he’s so busy chasing tail.
“tail ruins everything, ” I lament.
“Come chase tail in the village,”
Jack offers another night. That’s when we chase tail together.
I start to think about myself in relation to Jack's tail. I sort of wonder if I could ever be the tail that somebody would chase, rather than chasing all the tail myself. I don’t know if I like being the tail chaser.
I get insecure when I’m on the hunt. I wonder if the tail even likes me, or just likes the fact I’m a girl chasing tail.
I ask Jack if he wants love, and he says he does, but that you can’t really say that. I guess he’s right,
because nobody wants to admit that sort of thing, so that’s why we just chase tail now.
Madison Van Buren is a court jester living and writing in New York City.
More of her work can be found via
substack: @madisonvanburen
Instagram: @maddyvanburen